There’s no doubt that Valentine’s Day has become a Hallmark holiday. But if you’re in a relationship, not celebrating can be a statement of negativity, says Dr. Jane Greer, a marriage therapist and sex expert.
Yes, you can show your appreciation any other day. As long as your partner feels the same. “Otherwise, they’re going to feel neglected and unimportant. Whether it’s a card, candy, a massage or something thoughtful that’s geared toward their needs, you want to let them know that they’re special to you, ” says Dr. Greer.
Still on the fence?
Dr. Greer agreed to debunk the most common Valentine’s Day myths.
Myth 1: You must buy a pricey gift.
Buying a bigger present is not the answer. More important is the thought you put into it, how much is tailored to your partner and reflects your partner’s interests. If they’ve been talking about wanting a new pocket book or a new scarf, it shows that you’ve paid attention to them.
Myth 2: You have to go on a dinner date.
No, you don’t have to go outside the house at all. For some people, staying in and making a special meal that you both enjoy is even better. Spending time together is what matters.
Myth 3: You should have sex the night of Valentine’s Day.
Nope. It’s a day of declaration. It doesn’t mean you have to demonstrate it too. You can do that the next night, during the weekend or at a time when you’re both rested. You have to, in some way, convey love and care. If you’re not the romantic mushy-gushy type, even a Post-It or an email will do. It’s about expressing your love.
Wait to propose. It’s already a special day. Why put the two together?
Snack On This:
What about your single friends? You should make them feel included, says Dr. Greer. “I send cards to my single friends, saying ‘I’m so glad we’re friends and I love you.'”
Dr. Greer is the author of five books about navigating relationships. Her latest book, What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship , is available nationwide. You can also follow her on Twitter and Facebook.