By Lily Friedman
This week’s wellness roundup is all about relationships, love and that taboo topic most of us don’t want to get into – sex. Whether you’re single, dating or in a committed relationship, there’s some valuable information you may want to hang onto here.
Scouring the internet each week as the social media marketer here at The Sanity Snack, I’m on a mission to deliver some of the best wellness and self-improvement advice on the web to our followers.
The thing about relationships is that their tricky territory to navigate. How exactly do you find the right person for you or deal with the emotional roadblocks and insecurities that come along with them?
Let’s get down to the gritty of it all with this week’s ‘sanity tidbits’:
Attracting the Right Partner for You
If you ever feel like you’re attracting the wrong kind of partner into your life, it’s because you are. Maybe they’re irresponsible, not ready to settle down, or too full of themselves. The reason these people keep coming into your life is because ‘you’re calling out to them through your energy’.
In an article titled 4 Unconscious Signals You’re Sending Out About Your Capacity For Love on MindBodyGreen.com, Margaret Paul explains the concept of attracting people through energies and offers way to replace self-abandonment with self-love. “All matter is made up of energy, including human beings, and we send signals out into the world via our energy. We can categorize these signals by their frequency—that is, the rate at which your energy vibrates,” she explains.
Paul also mentions how we attract our most common level of vibration (frequency) expressed by level of self-love and self-abandonment. This means high-frequency people attract others of high frequency, while low-frequency people attract others that are low-frequency. She says, “People who are generally happy and peaceful (high-frequency people) are not attracted to people who are often anxious or depressed (low-frequency people).”
“Junk food, junk thoughts, and junk actions can all lower your personal frequency.”
If you are struggling to find your person then consider if you are abandoning yourself and if you identify with any of the behaviors she mentions. Practice replacing self-abandonment with self-love so you can find the partner you truly want in your life.
Combating Red Flags and Romantic Roadblocks
We already know relationships are a complicated source but finding balance and identifying red flags can be even more difficult.
In episode RELATIONSHIPS, RED FLAGS, & ROMANTIC BLOCKS on Dr. Emily Morse’s podcast channel Sex With Emily, she discusses everything from the proper ways to talk about sex with your partner to why monogamous partners could learn a thing or two from polyamory.
Morse reads articles and takes phone calls from her audience. She offers advice on what to do if you’re not satisfied in the bedroom, saying that it’s about compromise and “finding a win-win solution where you both get your needs met”. She also speaks out on red flags to look out for when determining a partner’s compatibility, starting with your values.
Morse also makes an interesting case for why partners in a monogamous relationship should examine how people in a consensual non-monogamous relationship communicate when it comes to defining the relationship, discussing boundaries, . She says, “People who are really great communicators in a relationship get really specific beyond ‘okay, you’re not sleeping with anybody else’. But what happens if maybe you are attracted to somebody else? Have you cheated on anyone before? What are your thoughts on if you would ever be in an open relationship?” Getting specific can help you better understand the relationship and get on the same page if you really are compatible.
Relieving Relationship Anxiety
When it comes to the complicated topic of relationships, it’s all too easy to feel some type of anxiety. Being anxious about our relationships prevents us from having healthy ones and may even cause damage in the long run.
Whether you feel insecure, undeserving of love or are hesitant to trust others, Productivity Theory’s Kayla Matthews offers six steps to reverse relationship anxiety in What Causes Relationship Anxiety and How You Can Avoid It.
Begin by identifying exactly what it is you feel anxious about and then start implementing Matthews’ tools into your daily life. The goal is to practice these steps with your partner, friends, family and even co-workers until you can control your anxiety and improve your relationships overall.
“We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.”- John Lennon