From the outside, you’d think it’s impossible: losing 40 pounds, parenting four children, writing over six different books and maintaining a 16-year-old relationship with her hubby, all while running a media corporation at The Hollis Company. What’s even more crazy? She’s so awesome at it, that she even centered her entire career around it.
While her life is rarely ever calm or balanced, she manages to maintain all her roles with much grace. So Rachel, how exactly do you do it all?
Here’s Hollis‘ 5 mindset tricks to help you raise to the top in everything you set out to do.
1). Believe in your imagination
I have always, since I was a little girl, in very specific detail, imagined the life I wanted for myself. I have imagined in very specific detail the photoshoot of me on the cover of Forbes. I know exactly what it will be like to buy my first plane. What I want you to do is in very specific detail, imagine the biggest goal you have for yourself. I want you to imagine what it will feel like to achieve this. How will this affect your relationships? What does this mean for your children? What will your quality of life be like?
You want to give yourself a visual idea of where you’re heading. When you fall off the wagon, which is bound to happen, you’re going to fall down and feel like you failed. One of the fastest ways to get back up and to get yourself motivated again is to sit inside that vision and remember what I’m working toward.
2). Be your own motivator
You’ve got to find your motivation. Maybe it’s the desire to run around with your kids without getting winded, maybe you want to be sexier for your spouse, maybe you want to get in shape for a big event this year or maybe you’re just tired of having the same old resolution to lose weight year after year. Whatever your motivation, you’ve got to find it and focus on it and wave it around like a flag. Remember, if something is important enough you’ll find a way, if it’s not, you’ll find an excuse.
3). Be intentional and deliberate in everything you do (especially when it comes to relationships)
The key to our long marriage is that we are deliberate and intentional. We do the work that is required to make our marriage great. We go on dates once a week, every week, even if we don’t want to, even if we don’t like each other that much that week, are tired or have traveled, dating is important. Do you still make an effort to send sweet notes or call to say I love you? We are dedicated to growing as a couple by supporting each other as individuals in working out, eating well, getting time with friends, self-care, etc.
4). Ask for help
From your partner, from a babysitter, from your family members, from your kids themselves. You cannot do this alone, and sister there’s no earthly reason for you to attempt it! So call in reinforcements. My big boys (ages 8 and 7) make their bed and clean their room every single day of their lives. My husband is the king of fix-it projects, school science experiments and bedtime routines. A great relationship is a team at heart. You’re there to support and empower each other so you can take on your hopes and dreams together.
5). Ditch the “mommy guilt”
This is just my advice for working moms in general. Ladies, it’s OK to work when you have children. It’s OK to want to have some time out of the house. It’s OK to still want to feel like the person you were before you had your baby. It’s also OK if you want to stay home with your kids and run the PTA. I guess what I’m saying is, whatever kind of mom you want to be is OK. If you love your kids and keep trying your best that’s all any of us can aim for. Stop letting other people’s, or societies, or your mother in law’s opinion affect how you want to live your life and raise your family.