By Joan I. Rosenberg, PhD.
As counterintuitive as it may sound, the key to cultivating confidence and creating a life you love lies in the ability to handle unpleasant emotions.
If you can experience and move through eight unpleasant feelings, you can pursue anything you want in life.
How do you move through these feelings?
By following one simple formula: one choice, eight feelings, 90 seconds.
The Rosenberg Reset, as one of my colleagues affectionately termed my method, is composed of just three steps, each occurring almost simultaneously:
First, you make one choice to be present — to be aware of and in touch with as much of your moment-to-moment experience as possible. When you make this choice, you open yourself up to encountering your whole range of feelings, from pleasant to unpleasant.
Confidence develops when you have the deep sense that you can handle the emotional outcome of whatever you pursue.
Second, since unpleasant feelings are generally harder to face, you acknowledge your willingness to deal with or tolerate the following eight common unpleasant feelings:
Third, you bear and move through, or, for some, endure, those unpleasant feelings by riding one or more 90-second waves of bodily sensations; physical sensations, such as warm cheeks, a pounding heart, or a pit in the stomach, are how the body communicates our feelings to us. Riding out the physical sensations and the emotions they represent is an essential part of the Rosenberg Reset.
Disconnect or distract from these experiences and you’ll go through life feeling unfulfilled, knowing deep down that something is missing.
Connect to your moment-to-moment experience by riding the waves of one or more of eight uncomfortable feelings, for up to 90 seconds each, and you connect to the vitality of life.
Master this reset process, and you are headed into a life that feels fully lived and expressed — a life of your own design.
The Reset resolves a broad array of common complaints. You can put an end to worry, anxiety, fear of failure, and feeling judged by others. The negative self-talk that belittles you with harsh self-criticism can be silenced almost immediately. Letting go of that old emotional baggage will seem simpler and will free you to take risks, trust others, and let yourself be open and vulnerable. You will begin to welcome change. And as long as you continue to use the Reset, unwavering confidence and emotional strength will become your new normal.
Excerpted from “90 Seconds to a Life You Love” Copyright © 2019 by Joan I Rosenberg, PhD. Used with permission of Little, Brown and Company, New York. All rights reserved..