Dealing with divorce is never going to be easy and above all else, you need time to heal. But there are certain things that you should be doing to make the process easier and more importantly, things that you definitely shouldn’t be doing. A lot of people get it wrong after a divorce because emotions are high and they don’t know how they should respond to the situation. If you’re going through a divorce, these are the common mistakes that you need to avoid.
Using Children To Score Points
This is very common during a divorce and it only makes the situation worse. When parents are angry at one another and they want to get back at each other, they will often use the kids to score points by badmouthing one another or fighting over who the kids like more. People tend to buy expensive gifts or take the kids on holidays to win their favor and be the fun parent, in an attempt to hurt their ex.
This is especially common in child custody rights cases because people think that it will help their cause and they’ll be more likely to win the custody battle. But what you have to remember here is that you’re not just hurting one another, you’re hurting the children and that will stay with them for a long time.
If you’re not careful, you could seriously damage them for a long while to come. It’s important that you leave the children out of it and sort out your own issues.
Idealizing Your Ex
We always want what we don’t have, it’s just human nature. When people break up, they may start to idealize the person that they broke up with.
You’ll forget all about the bad things in the relationship and just remember the good times, and it will be hard to move on from the relationship. This happens a lot with toxic relationships where one partner was very manipulative because it causes the other person to start doubting themselves and wonder whether breaking up was really the right thing to do.
In these situations, it’s important that you remember the reasons for the breakup and don’t let good memories cloud your judgment, otherwise, you’ll never move on.
Keeping Painful Reminders
When you break up with somebody, you don’t necessarily have to remove them from your life completely, especially if you were married and you have a family together. But you do need to move on and that means not keeping painful reminders of that person around you.
If your house is filled with photos of the two of you or things that you bought together which are left over after you divided your stuff, you’ll constantly be thinking of them.
It also means that you can’t see yourself living life without them, and that’s very important in these situations. You don’t have to throw all of that stuff away but you should put it out of sight and replace it with new things, so you can have a fresh start and start the next chapter of your life.
If you’re making these mistakes after a divorce, it’s going to be a lot harder for you to have a civil breakup and both move on with your lives.